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. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? (My answer might surprise you. You worked so hard, you really deserve that job! In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. Dear! Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" Home / How Do I Respond To Im proud of you? Just let them be. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. The Psychology of Bragging - Counselling Connection This is a very interesting discussion for me. Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. Then there's emotional attraction. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. My experiences with people saying they were proud of me (or at least making me aware in other ways that they were proud of me) first came from my own parents, mostly my dad. 3. But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. I have never regarded the word pride as implying that the one feeling it is somehow responsible for it. But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? A compliment like this means a lot to us, seeing that we give our people a chance to be happy and proud because of us. 16. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. 6 Things a Narcissist Would Never Do | Psych Central Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . I'm so proud of your painting!" Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. Proud Boys celebrate after Trump's debate callout - NBC News Interesting perspective. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. Proud" as praise - an external judgement of someone elses achievements. You could also feel patronised. Thank you so much. How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our childs latest achievement? . I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. Looking for some extra money from your parents? translation - How do you say "proud of you" in Chinese? - Chinese Sajeev Rajan I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. What to Say to Someone on Their Sobriety Anniversary - Taylor Recovery A 2017 analysis of 2012 national data from the US, showed that parent behaviour could have a protective role in a their child's mental health. PJ. If He Says These 10 Things, He's Just Stringing You Along Until He I dont think that without your support I can make it. It does not take it away from them. 25 Supportive Texts To Send Someone Who's Stressed Out - Bustle When A Guy Says You Are Amazing, What Does It Mean? - Live Bold and Bloom Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? Well done!. 8. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. Can "me too" be used here? 49 Best Responses To "I Am Proud Of You" (From Family And Friends) When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. 4. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. Continually acting to seek the approval of a parent is onerous for a child. 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. Thank you. He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. Which brings me to my next point. I don't think you . This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. The Proud Boys . It may not display this or other websites correctly. Its very presumptuous. I didnt expect that this would mean so much for us. And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. 5. First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). Don't remind them how far they've come. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. People Who Say These 5 Words Have Very Low Emotional Intelligence. Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. Pause before responding. 2014, 2016, 2019. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. About 5 years ago, an ex college girlfriend and I began emailing each other occasionally (not often just once every 2-3 months or so). ie you have brought them up as parents and are proud of them for their achievements or manners etc. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. Lost Index. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? "How long have you been sober?". . Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". "Be proud of your scars. Someone elses pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. The words I am so proud of you sum up those sentiments. 7. Great to hear this. Second, he must know you well. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. But is that really very useful? I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. Its just a colloquialism for way to go or awesome sauce or good for you! No one means to be condescending or imply they got you there in some way. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. #8: They say you need to change. Second, he must know you well. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. So happy for us! I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. 1. 90 Good Comebacks, Roasts & One-Liners For Sick Burns - YourTango They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight. Fascinating post in two regards. Sept. 29, 2020, 8:12 PM PDT / Updated Sept. 30, 2020, 5:34 AM PDT. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. My mother said it to me when I graduated from college and I will never forget it. Its obviously a powerful word. Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. ". A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. 16. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. William, however, was too proud and too obstinate to lend himself to such a course. But one doesn't want to say that they're not proud of their country if they're looking to lead it. Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. For what? 2. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. Thank you for your kind words.. 1. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! It's nothing bad or unusual. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. Congratulations to our dearest son. I grew up being complimented for my looks . Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. 3. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . 0. Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. How to Be Proud of Who You Are (with Pictures) - wikiHow Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. Ji on Twitter: "If u ate only when someone says they're proud of u I have never said to my children, I am proud of you. My reason is that thry are responsile for their successes and I shoudnt take any credit for it. What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. Thanks. He remembers things that you tell him. Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" 7. I'm so proud of your painting!" With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. That way, all they have to do is show up. I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, She and I are both married. I'm so proud of you" I say things like "I love seeing you so happy with your work" and "I love seeing your words in print". So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up - Bustle First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Like I wasnt doing enough before? An FBI witness says that members of the far-right Proud Boys had hoped to assassinate Vice President Mike Pence and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi during last week's violent storming of the U.S . I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". 3. My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. The first time I remember hearing it said to me (though I'm sure there were times before the instance I'm describing . Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. So, lets get started! You look so much better!". Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. 8. They just say it. Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. 14. . Thank you for starting this. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. 4. You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. "I know you have a lot going on . I wouldnt get anxious about it. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. How might you feel as the worker? It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. Granted that in many relationships, Im proud of you would strike a patronizing or otherwise false note. 17. 2. However what messages might our children actually hear? A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. 10. 8. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? Towards Net Zero. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images We had a really nice time. All Rights Reserved. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. 2. 3. If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. I wish everyone had a genuine friend like you. This has always happened, but in a context like the current one, in which both rivalry and appearances are highly valued elements, it is very common for this class of individuals, educated to become this way, to appear. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. Its all because of blessings and good wishes, I could do it. Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! And they both say that you're over and done with me. I have always seen it as, Ive been there, done that, and think you have done it too.. 11. PJ, I will give my thoughts on your post at the end of my post. "Proud" and "Humbled": I do not think it means what you think it means Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. 11 Answers for: What To Respond When Someone Says They've Been Busy? This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. I dont think there is a neutral position. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. 1. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. But to be proud of them? Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. Is it wrong to be proud of your accomplishments? It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. How to Respond When Someone Makes a Racist Comment After all, you were the one who put the effort into writing the report you did the research, you put the paper together. We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. Now whether its romantic or a deep friendship is a different question. When someone says "I'm proud of you", they are expressing their admiration and respect for you - and that can be a powerful thing. This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. Key takeaways on Americans' views of guns and gun ownership It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. When I Say I'm Proud of You - ttmm.io I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. 16. ), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? JavaScript is disabled. Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". Your email address will not be published. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). Darling, Are You Proud of Me? | Psychology Today Future Planet. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. And guess what? What your walk really says about you - BBC Future Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. 9. Proud Boys chairman Enrique Tarrio poses with a Proud Boys member at a rally in Delta Park in Portland, Oregon, on September 26, 2020. So you better know in which tone theyre saying so. I think you deserve the credit for this all. "Always work hard, be honest, and be proud of who you are.". I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. A very concise and articulate post. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond.
